Guidelines for establishing appropriate tone and voice in internal training courses, particularly onboarding content intended for a broad employee audience.
When a course is designed for internal employees — especially new hire onboarding — use an inclusive we/us voice when referring to the company, its mission, and its strategic initiatives.
Rationale: Internal learners are members of the organization, not external customers. Addressing them as "you" when describing what the company does creates distance. Framing content as "we" reinforces belonging and shared purpose from day one.
Examples:
- ✅ "We are the end-to-end provider of recovery solutions."
- ✅ "Our mission is to help businesses recover faster."
- ❌ "Agility Recovery offers you a full suite of recovery services."
Exceptions: "You" is appropriate when directly instructing the learner on a task or action they personally perform (e.g., "You will complete this module before your first day in the field").
Evidence: Established during [1] Rise360 course development. Gus Donelson confirmed: "When we're talking about agility and what the company does, I think that's more of an us or we type thing because this is an internal [course] and these are only employees, new employees."
When a module covers a topic that applies to only one department (e.g., sales), but the course itself is taken by all new hires, avoid directing language at a specific role.
Pattern: Replace role-directed "you" with a named role reference.
| Before | After |
|---|---|
| "…allowing you to spend more time closing deals" | "…allowing salespeople to spend more time closing deals" |
Rationale: Non-sales employees taking the course should understand the benefit to their colleagues without feeling the content is misdirected at them.
Evidence: Specific edit confirmed in the Agility Recovery "Industries We Serve" module. See [2].
Avoid absolute or categorical statements that may feel alienating or inaccurate to some learners. Definitive language ("X always fails," "traditional methods don't work") can undermine credibility and create resistance.
Approach: Soften strong claims while preserving the core message.
Note on AI-assisted editing: When a client uses a tool like Microsoft Copilot to suggest edits, treat the output as a signal about tone rather than a directive. The underlying concern (language feels too strong or definitive) is the actionable insight; the specific Copilot-generated wording may or may not be the right fit.
Evidence: Gus Donelson used Copilot to generate alternative phrasing during his review pass on the Agility Recovery Rise360 course. He clarified: "It wasn't anything major, but… 'traditional ways fail' — that's really definitive, so I wanted to make it a little softer."
Do not include claims that are factually inaccurate for the sake of a fuller sentence, even if the inaccuracy seems minor.
Example: A line stating the tools help salespeople spend "less time cold prospecting" was removed because the company still requires cold prospecting. Including it would have created confusion or eroded trust in the training content.
Evidence: Agility Recovery "Industries We Serve" module edit. Gus noted: "Take off the end — less time cold prospecting — because we actually still make them cold prospect."